My Angel's name is Kristen Elizabeth Goodman. Everyone called her Krissy. She was born 11/01/1982. She came in a big hurry. I had little over an hour of labor. The doctor almost missed the delivery. She left this world as suddenly as she came into it. On Father's Day, 06/20/2004, she was tubing behind her father's boat and hit some type of channel marker. They airlifted her to the hospital but when I arrived there the doctor assured me that she died instantly.
I have been on quite a spiritual journey since that day. I was blessed with what George Anderson calls "The Gift" in his book "Walking in the Garden of the Souls". The morning of Krissy's accident she called my cell phone. My roommate Gyla and I were in North Louisiana visiting her Dad for Father's day. I had planned to see Krissy that weekend but it hadn't worked out. It was strange because I wanted to see her but this thought kept coming to me ......"You don't want to see Krissy this weekend". I argued with myself that I DID want to see Krissy but the thought would just return.
Krissy called my cell phone the morning of Father's day. I usually answered my cell phone but that morning Gyla, answered and had a long conversation with Krissy. There was alot of drama going on in Krissy's life at the time and Gyla had not talked to her since it began. They had a good conversation. We were outside. Gyla told Krissy that she loved her and handed me the phone. I only talked to her a few minutes. We ended our conversation as we always did by saying "I love you" to each other. Knowing she was going to the lake with her Dad I added "Be Careful" and hung up the phone. Just as I disconnected the phone I heard a voice inside my head that whispered "You will never speak to Krissy again". At the time I thought it was weird.....Where did that come from? I shook it off but remember thinking that something about it was familiar.
Later that day Gyla and I were returning to Houston when we got the call that Krissy had been in an accident. We had been delayed leaving town by two different situations. Normally we would have been back in Houston already but instead we were just an hour out of Shreveport. Gyla's cell phone rang. She was told that there had been an accident and Krissy was being airlifted to the hospital. I immediately remembered the voice I had heard that morning and knew that Krissy was gone. Gyla kept telling me not to jump to conclusions, but in my heart, I knew.
It was a long drive back to the hospital to face what no parent ever wants to face. We arrived at the hospital and ushered into a small room and were told to wait. I asked about Krissy's Dad and was told that he was there. Eventually a couple of family friends came in the room along with the hospital chaplain. They all prayed over me. I remember feeling a bit odd. That wasn't my style but if it made them feel better that it was okay. Finally a doctor came in the room. He sat directly accross from me. He looked me right in the eyes and said "CPR was administered at the scene and all the way back to Shreveport in the Life Flight helicopter but I can assure you she died instantly." That was it. I thanked him for telling me that and he left. The events of the next few minutes were a blur. Gyla was crying. Krissy's Dad and his wife came in and there was alot of hugging and crying.
The next few days went by in a blur. We only had to make a few decisions and the rest just happened. Alot of love and prayers carried us through. My motto became "I can do this". I said that to myself at each step of the way. I felt like the tent pole holding up the tent. Everyone was looking to me to see how "we" were doing. I knew if I was strong; everyone else would be too. If I fell apart; everyone else would also. At the time I remember resenting it. Now I realize it was simply what Mom's do.
When it was over, we returned to Houston. A week later I returned to work. During all this time I kept thinking about that voice I had heard saying "You'll never speak to Krissy again". It gave me complete Peace. I have always had Faith and Belief but now I knew that everything I believed in was true. I kept thinking about how that voice sounded familiar ......like I had heard it before......I suddenly remembered.......
I had always promised both my children trips to Las Vegas for their 21st birthday. On May 20th Krissy, my son Cory, Gyla, and my Mother and Sister all flew from different locations and we met in Las Vegas. We were celebrating not only Krissy's 21st birthday but also my sister's 50th. We had a wonderful trip. Krissy spent time with each person separately. She said "Aunt Lisa and I are going to have a bonding experience. We are going to the Chippendales." They did and had a great time. She sat and played Poker with her brother for the first time. She played slot machines with her Grandmother. We all had a nice dinner downtown one night. She took pictures of herself with each of us. She gave each of us a crystal that she had dug up on a recent trip to Arkansas with her fiance. The last night she spent alone with her brother. She took him out to a very nice dinner before going to see George Carlin.
The morning of May 24th, Krissy had an early flight. I went down to her room to be sure she was ready and see some pictures she had on her computer. As usual we were running late. When we got to the taxi line it was pretty long. I told Krissy "Go up to the bellman and see if he can help you find someone to share a ride with to the airport". In typical Krissy style she walked up to the line and loudly asked......"Is anyone going to the airport?". A couple meekly raised their hands. She said "Can we share a ride?" They nodded yes. She hopped over the taxi line rope. I hugged her and told her that I loved her. I turned around to walk back in the hotel and I heard that voice........."You'll never see Krissy again".
At the time I blew it off just like I did the morning of the accident. Now I know that it was the greatest gift I could have ever been given. I have spent the last two months reading all I can about Angels and life after death. My faith has strengthened ten fold. I now know that I can talk to her and she is always with me. The hardest part is making other people understand. Mostly I want Krissy's Dad to understand that this was part of God's plan. He did not cause her death. He was just there to witness it so we were left with no questions. My task now is to help him understand that.
Looking back, the signs started around Christmas. Krissy always gave me Dreamsicles for gifts. Along with the Dreamsicle she gave me two other Angels. Not typical gifts from her. She did alot of traveling around her school schedule. For my birthday she gave me the usual Dreamsicle and a very special gift, diamond earrings. She said they were something she wanted me to have. She visited a lot of people in the last few months. The last week she took a quick trip to Florida to spend two days on the beach. On the way back she made an unexpected stop to spend the night with my Mother. At the visitation many people stopped and said. "Krissy just stopped in to see me last week." She was saying her good-byes. Writing this I just realized that we arrived in Las Vegas on May 20th. She died on June 20th. We left Las Vegas on May 24th. Her Celebration of Life was June 24th.
The most amazing is this.........About two months before the accident she changed her email address to IMAANGELNHEAVEN. What more can I say?
I have spent the last couple of weeks designing her monument. Through the internet I found a wonderful man who makes custom monuments. I took pictures of one of the Angels she gave me for Christmas for use in the design. I really had trouble with the words. One day at work I was inspired to put "I'm an Angel In Heaven" in the search engine and came up with a lovely poem called "I'm an Angel Now". I took part of it and reworded it a little and this is what it will read:
I was chosen by the Lord Above
And Now I'm in his Care
Take a look inside your Heart
I am always there
I'm an Angel in Heaven Now
My Spirit is set free
I'm an Angel in Heaven Now
No need to weep for me
The design for the monument is beautiful.
I get through each day. The grieving process is slow. I can't concentrate much. I Can't do house work. I Don't care what I eat. I go to counseling once a week. That's all to be expected. Mostly I'm grateful that, because of the Gift, I'm at Peace. I really never understood that term before but I sure do now.
Her symbol......a Peacock. It was her finace's last name. We liked to kid her about becoming Krissy Peacock.